Meaning Of Life Part ThreeIn Hamlet, Shakespeare wrote: "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Almost everything that we think we know about ourselves, we think we know because of social comparison. Social comparison is the process of comparing ourselves to other people. Throughout our lives we evaluate ourselves through social comparison. By comparing ourselves to others we discover if we are better, worse, or the same as other people. We do this with such things as: our looks, our strength, golf scores, grades in school, monetary worth, running speed, dancing ability, S.A.T. scores, and our popularity. However, because we are aware of our every flaw, and because we get only a censored view of other people, there is a natural tendency to under-value ourselves. Today we are in association with a larger number of people than even before. Our TV, movies, sports, and music present us with a very large number of beautiful and talented people with whom to compare ourselves. You might be handsome, but are you as handsome as George Clooney or Denzel Washington? As pretty as Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie? As good an athlete as Michael Jordan or Lance Armstrong? Is your life as exciting as that of a James Bond or a Darth Vader? The social comparisons of today result in greater feelings of inferiority than ever before. To defend ourselves from feelings of inferiority, we frequently use the defense mechanism of identification. In identification we affiliate psychologically with someone or something, such as a team, a successful person, a group, or organization. These become extensions of us. Whatever happens to the team, the person, the group, or organization, also happens to us. If the team wins, we feel joy and say, “We won!” If the person, group, or organization succeeds, we vicariously succeed as well. A lot of people identify with celebrities. We call these celebrities “stars,” and “idols.” We wait in line and pay big bucks to see them. We buy their products the moment they hit the market. We aspire to touch them, and to obtain their autographs. We read about their exploits, and imitate their speech and manner of dress. A group of publications and productions, known as tabloids, prey upon these identifications. Information about these people, both real and made up, sells. Because it sells, these publications and productions have become big business. We want our “stars” and “idols” to succeed, because when they do, we succeed as well—the richer and more famous, the better. It is certainly normal to compare ourselves with others. It is probably also normal to identify. But we need to be aware of the facts. We need to be reminded that we are only shown the better side of others. We need to realize that the people with whom we identify are talented, but are as human as you and I. Such realizations will allow the benefits of identification to outweigh any feelings of inferiority from social comparisons we make with these talented people. Meaning Of Life Part Two Meaning Of Life Part Three Home |