"I think; therefore I am,"
René Descartes expressed.
So if we are not thinking,
then we don't exist?

If the census were taken
by Descartes' delineation,
the world would be in a state
of under-population.

**********

If Jim Bowie had not died
and left us quite so soon,
there would have been a Bowie Knife,
and a fork and spoon.

And adorning your dining room table--
a Bowie gravy ladle.

**********

Alexander the Great,
with a blow to the head,
might have become Alexander
the Special Ed.

**********

Those who lie 
with good recollection,
seldom pay 
the price of detection.

**********

There is little difference,
on the surface of it,
between forgiveness
and not giving a shit.

**********

'Til death do us part
would be more truthful
if more of us died
when we were youthful.

**********

I'm so sorry my love,
but I must confess
that after orgasm
I love you less.


**********

The smartest people
in the world must be
those who always
agree with me.

And each time they concur
with what I construe--
they get even better
looking too!

**********

My life was all the stuff
that happened to me
while I was busy dreaming
what I wanted it to be.

And now that so much
of my life is gone,
I wish I'd paid attention
to what was going on.

**********

You should always take one step at a time;
that's all-- 
unless your intent is 
to jump or to fall.

**********

With money and blood pressure
things can get rough
if you have an overabundance
or not enough.

**********

Of all the things we ferry,
an empty wallet is hardest to carry;
for despite the weight we pull,
it feels so much lighter when it is full.

**********

I'm tired of all this sexist crap!
Wouldn't it be a nice switch--
just once to hear someone called
a "daughter of a bitch?"

And why do mothers get all the fucking?
This isn't fair!
Fathers, too,
deserve their share!

**********

Hit men are people
who kill for their pay.
But the people they kill
were gonna die anyway.

It is the same for those
who make people croak
by growing and selling
tobacco to smoke.

It is only the speed
that does divide
this legal business
from homicide.

Kill slowly
and you're okay.
Kill quickly
and they put you away!


**********

Gravity is the law
that holds people down.
It causes our feet
the pavement to pound.

It makes our chins
droop and sag.
Beautiful breasts
become like tea bags.

And why is it
that we can't fly?
Gravity!
that's why!

Gravity is the reason 
things plummet and break.
It makes leaves fall
so that we have to rake.

It is the reason
we can't jump over things.
It is why the fall
must follow the spring.

It is unconstitutional,
to say the least;
it discriminates against
the weak and obese!

But although it seems
that this law isn't fair,
it keeps all the crap
from floating in the air.

So sad, but true--
gravity we need,
so that we all
may continue to breathe.

**********

The world will be over-run
with kitties and with pups,
when all the one we put to sleep
wake up

**********

Life is a matter
of take and give.
Something must die
so that something might live.

Chicken and cow
are no longer alive.
They died
so that we might survive.

Wheat and corn,
turnip and sugar cane--
sacrifices in
the living game.

We sow and grow,
slaughter and devour,
to live another minute--
another hour--

until we die
and become a grand feast
for every manner
of wee beast.

So what life is all about,
I have grown to discover,
is a continuous bout
of feeding on each other.

So pass the potatoes;
pass the ham.
I eat;
therefore I am.

**********